Sunday, September 29, 2024

Oops! 501 The Advanced Study of Why We Mess Up: Cognitive Biases and Decision Making

Welcome, future graduates of Oops! 501, a.k.a. advanced-level Hogwarts for procrastinators and overthinkers alike. In this riveting, laughter-filled graduate course, you’ll embark on a journey through the whims of human error. Buckle up and get ready to laugh at ourselves. For the most serious students, you can include this course in your LinkedIn profile as we would like to call it, "Cognitive Biases and Decision Making". We will or could or should, of course, cover common irrational behaviors, why they occur, and how to mitigate them.

Why do we mess up?

It's simple: our brains like to troll us by making us think we're smarter than we actually are. It’s like having an unruly roommate living in our heads, constantly misplacing the remote control to our rational thinking. Cognitive biases are the brain's version of practical jokes, convincing us to see patterns in butterfly wings or hear moose calls in rock music. If you've ever put your keys in the fridge, you know that brain gremlins sometimes run the show.

A number of my friends and I got together to create, as our teacher Ms. Patty indicated, an advanced course of those little things we know we have to do but that we do not do, or simply put in another way, we tell our students and clients the things we know they have to do but that we don’t do either.

We have designed a very nice 6-week intensive course facilitated by people from all over the world who come from different industries and experiences and who have so many traits to share with our students that we cannot wait until next October when we will be delivering this new course at Master Jack’s B&T&S Training Seminar, guided by the most amazing and incredible in-training Sr. Masters Jocelyn and Jody.

So, ready to dive deep into the hilarity of human error? Enroll in our new class Oops! 501, and let's turn our brain's quirks into belly laughs.

Here is the course Syllabus in case you are wondering about the subjects we will be covering:

  • Week 1: Procrastination Nation

We kick things off with an in-depth look at why you'd rather binge-watch another season of "The Office" than tackle your thesis. Discover how to professionally craft the perfect excuse for tomorrow’s missed deadline today.

  • Week 2: The Delusion of Multitasking

Ever tried to juggle emails, make dinner, and walk your dog simultaneously? Spoiler: One of them always ends up on fire (and hopefully not dinner). We'll explore the illusion of productivity and laugh at our failed attempts to defy the laws of time.

  • Week 3: Cognitive Dissonance or 'How to Comfortably Lie to Yourself'

Did you need that $200 pair of shoes? Yes, because they were on sale! Learn the art of justifying bad decisions, scientifically known as Cognitive Dissonance, or as we like to call it, "The Shopper's Dilemma!"

  • Week 4: Anchoring and Adjustments: The Art of Getting Stuck

Learn why your GPS isn't the only thing recalculating. You'll discover why your first impression (or price) sets the stage, and how rogue anchors can have you sticking to terrible decisions like they're made of superglue.

  • Week 5: The Optimism Bias

Explore why you always believe you're the exception to the rule, just to find yourself face first in the same old puddle. Spoiler: You’re not winning the lottery, Bob.

  • Week 6: The Paradox of Choice

Do you need 23 types of milk at the grocery store? Learn how too many choices lead to decision paralysis, resulting in you leaving with 17 things you didn’t need and forgetting the one thing you went for.

  • And it all leads to the Graduation ceremony (our fabulous Come as You’ll Be Party): Celebrating Epic Fails with Diplomas.

As you don your cap and gown, remember, this journey through our gloriously flawed decision-making processes is just the beginning. You’re now equipped with the wisdom to recognize your biases... and laugh when you still fall for them anyway.

And, in case you need any reading material to go with these lessons, we would like to offer the possibility for you to pre-order our Oops! 501 best-selling book series soon to be turned into a new best-selling thriller-drama-comedy series on Netflix and the SuccessLiveStream: The Oops510 Reality Check

Here is our book list reccomendations:

1.      Bad Habits 101: Procrastination, Pizza, and Other Life Choices, by Professors Oopsie von AndreaS and Oopsie tin Nora;

2.      Procrastinate Like a Pro with Cheers: The Art of Getting Nothing Done, by Mr. Cheers himself, Mr. "Curacao" Harish.

3.      Oops, I Did It Again: A Guide to Consistent Mistakes, by the legendary Lady Whoops-a-lot Min and Little-Ms-Whoopsie Ryoko;

4.      Diet Starts Monday: A Memoir of Eternal Snacking, by yours truly Eat-a-lot Luis Vicente Garcia;

5.      Netflix and Neglect: When Binge-Watching Takes Over, by Miss Take It Easy Meta;

6.      Revenge Bedtime Procrastination: How to Stay Up Late for No Reason, by our very own Britt Ladies, Lady Leona and Lady SandraP;

7.      Life in the Slow Lane: The Joy of Delayed Decisions, by Drs. Whoopsie Daisical Susy and Fumble-on-the-gym Gwen;

8.      Why Do Today What You Can Put Off Until Tomorrow? by Dr. A.B.C. Frenchie, a.k.a. the Raider of Errors and Sir Blunderous Jim;

9.      The Pizza Predicament: Choosing Cheese Over Chores, by master Procrastinator Stacy and Cassandra Leah Mistaken-numbers;

10.  How to Win Friends and Annoy People, by professor Sir Mix-a-Lot-of-Mistakes Wesley and his beautiful babies; and,

11.  The Excuse Encyclopedia: Creative Reasons to Avoid Responsibility, by the only, the one, Mr. Jedi himself Dr. Fumbleback Jack Goofington, in collaboration with all the Confuso TLC Members and Staff.

So, next time you make a baffling decision, just learn directly from the best trainers and experts or blame it on your inner jesters, those biases that turn life into one giant blooper reel!


P.S.: Make sure you attend our "2025 Grand Symposium on Cognitive Mischiefs and Decision Slip-Ups" hosted and organized by Dr. Misstep Chieferson Maria and MC'd by Lady Whoops-a-Lot Jocelyn.

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